Golden Retriever Puppy: Breed a Rescue Dog

English Slang For Perplexed Tourists

I watched the British version of 'Big Brother' recently. That's the television show which is a human hamster cage. Viewers go 'ooh' and 'aah' over the one they like or dislike, and vote to decide who leaves the house. In the interim, the contestants do tricks for the amusement of the public. The last man in gets £100,000. The production company makes millions. All contestants lose any shred of dignity and anonymity.

The 2005 version had an Essex boy and Essex girl on it; modern cockneys. Their speech was replete with annoying, redundant phrases; verbal filler, if you like. This 'got on my tits' (nerves) so much I decided to compile a list of these phrases. Now any visitor to London and surrounding areas can understand the natives.

- Respect: Very much in demand by those least deserving of it; street hoodlums, wide boys, geezers, Z-list celebrities, and rap acts from Chipping Sodbury.

- Aow Roight?: Hello, is all well (between us)?

- Right?: Interrogative used to punctuate sentences. A trick to ensure your audience is listening, to what is probably banal e.g. "I went inna caff on the high road, right? and this geeza looks at me funny, right?, an' I wasn' doin nuffin', right? and so I says to 'im, I says ...

- Cheers: Thank you. Derived from the drinkers' salute.

- At the end of the day: Meaning 'when all is said and done'. A cliché. Emphasises what comes after, which is also banal e.g. "At the end of the day, you've got to look after yourself, know woh a mean?"

- Know what I mean?: Emphasises what comes before it, also usually banal. A verbal trick, to get the listener's attention. Used by those who aren't sure they're expressing themselves clearly. Which is most of the time.

- Seriously: Another 'emphasiser'. Means 'I am serious about the following' e.g. "Seriously, I am well pissed of with you, Craig". Or as a question: "My mate (friend) Sandra's had a boob job (breast enhancement)". To which one replies: "Seriously?".

- To be honest with ya: Meaning, I'm not usually. I am, rather, being earnest. An overused phrase. What follows it is not guaranteed to be sincerely meant, or trustworthy.

- Which is good: A hint on one-upmanship, and disingenuous. e.g. "I won a grand on a scratchcard yesterday. Which is good".

- Scary: Might frighten a two year old. Used by women or gays to convey faux distress. A bad hairdo can be 'scary'. A spider making a sudden dash for the plughole is 'scary'.

- As it 'appens: A hint of one-upmanship here, e.g. "I was down the dogs (at the dog track) yest'day, as it 'appens" (happens).

- 'Th' pronounced as 'F': As in 'Wan, Foo, Fwee, Foah' (One, two, three, four). There is a definite sense that this is deliberately done. A reversion to a child-like speech-impediment.

- Oi dan't kna nuffin' abaht it: I don't know anything about it. Said with an air of grievance, as is ...

- Oi dunno, DO I?: You should somehow be aware of my ignorance, possibly by telepathy. This phrase is key. If you can penetrate to its reproachful, whinging core, you will understand the modern Englishman or woman.

- No disrespect to: I am about to criticise the following person, but do not wish take responsibility for so doing i.e. I AM disrespecting so-and-so.

- Sweet, or 'Sweet as' (a nut): Response to a manoeuvre successfully accomplished, or an unexpected bonus. Often said when you've earned something you're not entitled to e.g. you've robbed a warehouse of two hundred cartons of Benson and Hedges cigarettes, and got away with it. 'Sweet!'.

- Sha ap! (Shut up): I disagree with what you are saying, but haven't the wit, patience or vocabulary to repudiate it, so I'll tell you to 'Sha ap' instead. Repeatedly.

- I'm not 'appy (about ...): I am a Lord of Creation, hear my wrath.

- End of (End of story): I have made a final pronouncement, no more need be said on this subject.

T. O' Donnell ( http://www.tigertom.com ) is an ecommerce consultant and curmudgeon living in London, UK. His latest project is an ebook on conservatories, available at http://www.ttconservatories.co.uk T. O' Donnell freeware may be downloaded at http://www.ttfreeware.co.uk

MORE ARTICLES:

Insurance Lead Provider ProspectZone Doubles Select Health Lead Production
Continued innovations by ProspectZone has doubled health insurance lead production for Smart Leads Select, the premier insurance leads program. ProspectZone's conversion engineers and marketing teams have just completed internal and external improvements to extend its industry leadership in providing the best insurance leads in the industry.

How do I Register a Domain Name?
All over the world, there are dozens of people starting up their own web sites every day. The Internet is a huge area with room for everyone, but in order to avoid confusion each web site must posses a unique domain name. This refers both to the title of the page and the address visitors will type into their navigation bars to get to your web site.

What can ITIL Foundation Certification do for you?
Join the one of the fastest growing communities of IT professionals around the globe by obtaining your ITIL Foundation Certificate in IT Service Management. ITIL (IT Infrastructure Library) is a consistent and comprehensive documentation of best practice for IT Service Management, developed by OGC. It is a series of documents that are used to aid the implementation of a lifecycle framework for IT Service Management. It outlines an extensive set of management procedures intended to support businesses in achieving both high financial quality and value in IT operations. ITIL is now a worldwide phenomenon used by organizations of all shapes and sizes, so a growing army of ITIL certified professionals is required by the industry.

Vitamins And Minerals For Optimal Health
Health is a major concern in the United States, from vitamins and minerals, to the proper nutrition and intake, it is hard to get the proper amount of nutrition you need everyday from just the regular foods you intake.

Diy Tips To Make A Picture Handbag
There are two ways for you to successfully make a picture handbag, but first, let me ask you this: which are you better at, working with computers or with your own two hands?

How To Choose The Best Domain Name
In this article we are going to look at the thought process you should go thru to choose your domain name.First of all let's define what a domain name is.

Does Your Family Health Insurance Plan Have Hidden Gaps In Coverage?
If you have a good family health insurance plan, but you just got a big bill from the hospital, you naturally want to find out why. You are even more concerned if your deductible has already been met, but you still owe more than the normal copay.

Dog Health Advice and Information Now Available at The Professor's House
Whether you are a dog owner dealing with a case of dog diarrhea, a puppy with an upset stomach, vomiting or other health problems, there is now a website offering all the dog health information you need under one roof.

Motion Media Solutions Highlights Adult Stem Cell Therapy Successes
Motion Media Solutions creates video collage of miraculous patient stories.

Ohio Savings Bank to Change Name to Amtrust Bank
Effective April 23, Ohio Savings Bank will change its name to AmTrust Bank.

NoBS Photo Success Founder Espouses Importance of Database to Photographers
Robert Provencher, founder of NoBS Photo Success, releases statement about the relationship between client database and success in photography industry.

Mingoville Lets Kids Learn English the Fun Way for Free on the Web
Mingoville's Flamingo City (www.Mingoville.com) opens its doors to children, tweens, and teens in over 190 countries, with free English lessons for kids. Students can learn English the fun way as a second language with Mingoville's completely Web-based application featuring English games for kids.

High Fiber Food And Your Health
High fiber food may well be the most important food fad to have come out of the new wave health drive that most of the world seems to be on as a result of obesity and ballooning weight. Image has had a lot to do with the rise and popularity of high fiber foods because people are concerned with staying youthful and high fiber foods are a way to do just that! They ensure that the body runs smoothly and can help to stave off disease and illness later on in life that will be common as a result of the poor eating habits of some individuals at the moment. High fiber foods are very important to the body and so should be important to you!

Local Caterer Seeks Funky Digs and New Name
Hoaglin Fine Catering will move its Corporate Headquarters and catering kitchens to The Stutz Business Center II in January of 2007.